22 September 2009

Further evidence that the mind is a subtle and deeply strange thing -- Part 2

I had a dream last night that I was tasked to rebuild Disney World, but on the ocean. The whole thing had to be on converted cruise ships and floating platforms lashed together, and every ride had to be like It's A Small World or Splash Mountain, with the cars riding on a flume of water, even the Skyway gondola and the Tower of Terror.

And do you know why Disney World had to be rebuilt? Because it was destroyed. By Zombies.

But not just any zombies. Subterranean zombies. Burrowing zombies. They were like sand worm zombies, and they could hear mechanical noises from under ground and they would burst up onto the surface and do their zombie business. This made it difficult to scout out Original (Terrestrial) Disney World from out Jeeps, but scout we did, collecting priceless Disney artifacts.

I think P.J. O'Rourke was navigating, but it might have been Neil Patrick Harris. He had a knack for finding stashes of hooch every time we looked for artifacts. We were more amazed that he managed to find booze in Disney World than that he wanted to get plastered while surrounded by zombies. My best friend from elementary school was our jeep mechanic. He had this crazy theory you could scare zombies away with Bach, and it sort of worked, but mostly didn't. He was really good with his homemade cross bow, so we let it slide.

Oh, and the new Floating Disney World was also supposed to have a museum presenting the history of In-N-Out Burger, with special wings devoted to Animal Sauce and another for their war with Five Guys. Not a marketing war. More like a gang war, with armed mercenaries claiming territory for rival burger chains. White Castle and Fuddruckers were like the Ottomans and the Serbians in WWI -- they were there, but no body really paid much attention.

So. Seasteading + Water World + Down and Out in the Magic Kingdom + Walking Dead + Dune + Driving Like Crazy + Snow Crash. Yes.

(Read the first installment of "Further evidence that the mind is a subtle and deeply strange thing" here.)

1 comment:

  1. I was thinking less Dune and more Tremors with a dash of Warriors.