25 August 2009

The Customer is not Always Right

I'm loving this site. As always when it comes to tales of astounding stupidity, I'm never sure whether to despair that such people manage to survive and breed, or to take comfort that I'm competing in a world populated by idiots.

Not Always Right is my new Blank Top Chronicles, since that blog was taken off line. (All is not lost, though! The Wayback Machine has an extensive archive of Blank Top posts.)

Here are some stories of America in the first quarter of the 21st Century:
Land Of The Free, Home Of the Single-Minded

(This takes place in 2008, when George W. Bush was still president. A customer brings a book filled with his quotes to the register.)

Customer: “What kind of nonsense is this? I can’t believe you guys would really sell these books here. He’s still our president, and he deserves respect!

Me: “I’m sorry if the books offend you sir, but we offer them for customers who have different opinions.”

Customer: “This is America! We should all have the same opinion!” *storms out with his purchase*

A Runaway Train Of Thought

(A caller phones into our car rental company looking for a vehicle, but we’re sold out in every nearby location.

Caller: “Why aren’t there any cars for me? Everyone I ask tells me they’re out of cars!”

Me: “We’ve been having a hard time keeping a hold on any cars with this tourist season.”

Caller: “Terrorism?”

Me: “No, ma’am, the tourist season. It’s been a really big push into your area lately, so Florida’s swamped.”

Caller: “Everyone’s been blaming the terrorists today. Why are we all letting the terrorists win?” *begins sobbing*

Me: “Ma’am, it’s tourists, not terrorists.”

Caller: “I’m an American! In America! Why are we letting them ruin my life? We can’t let these terrorists win!” *continues sobbing for a moment and then hangs up*

Land Of The Free, Home Of The Naive

(I get a call from a new renter with whom I had signed a lease contract with the previous night.)

Me: “Thanks for calling [apartments]! How may I help you?”

Renter: “My name is *** and I just signed the lease last night. I want to cancel it.”

Me: “Cancel? I’m sorry, but the lease is a binding contract between yourself and the management company as we discussed.”

Renter: “What! I don’t want it! Just cancel it!”

Me: “Well, there are some options. We can try to rent the apartment to another tenant to end your lease early, or, if you happen to qualify for a job or military transfer–”

Renter: “I can’t believe you’re doing this to me. I can’t believe that in the United States of America, I can sign a legal document, and not get out of it!” *hangs up*

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