20 May 2008

The Legend of the Mayan Crystal Death Ray Aliens from Atlantis at the End of World!!

Threat Quality Press discussing the Sci-Fi channel's pre-Indy IV "documentary" about the "real legend" of the crystal skulls:
One of these characters tries to explain the skull. 'The theory may sound far-fetched, at first,' he says, and this is misleading, because it implies that the more you hear about it, the LESS far-fetched it will sound, 'But the crystal skulls are made from quartz, which is what we make our modern microchips from. Imagine how much information is stored on a microchip--now, think of how much information could be stored in a crystal skull.' Which is crazy, because beaches are made out of quartz, too, and all they store is sand crabs and used heroin needles.
Highly, highly recommended read. Another good observation: why do all these conspiracy theory shows rest almost entirely on the ramblings of balding hippies with pony tails? Seriously, if you are bald and not Willie Nelson, cut that shit out. If you get confused, refer to the following supplement:


  1. This is an extremely valuable chart.

    Both SciFi and the History Channel should look into using a chart like this the next time they need to assemble a panel of experts on something.

  2. Thanks. Any TV producers are more than welcome to make use of it whenever they see fit.